Friday, March 24, 2017

Who Should Play Cable in Deadpool 2

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Every other day I see some internet rumors about who will play Cable in Deadpool 2.  Current consensus seems to be around Michael Shannon, which I would totally be for (watch The Night Before, he's hilarious).  See rumors about David Harbour, Brad Pitt turning it down.  Deadpool even jokingly name dropped the likes of Dolph Lundgren and Keira Knightely for the part.

As much as I wasn't over the moon for the Deadpool movie (I liked it, but it is one that hyped quenched my enthusiasm for.  Like seriously, that was a phenomenon?).  But I am totally on board for a sequel, the main reason is that I can see all the potential that the addition of Cable offers the film.  This is the ultimate straight man character whose main role is to be sick of a partner that won't shut up.  Deadpool acts like a cartoon character, but Cable takes his action hero caricature 100% seriously.  I am excited for that dynamic, so here are my choices for the role of Cable.
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Alternates: Kevin Costner & Jay Leno
Costner came to mind and as much as I like him, there are better choices (although he's been in Ryan Reynolds' head before, or whatever the plot of Criminal was).  Another actor that came to mind was honestly Jay Leno.  He already looks like a comic book cariacture and I think his old school comedic timing would work in the role.  Plus I think the movie could play with how much people claim they hate Jay.  But he's not an actor.

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10. Mel Gibson
 Out of the names said in the after credits scene Mel Gibson is the one I could see in the part.  Mainly because his messed up sense of humor would fit the tone of the film.  I could see this part letting Mel be playful.  But he is up for Suicide Squad 2 (which is a horrifying idea) and there are better options.
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9. William Shatner
 Deadpool should play homage to its lineage by casting a classic campy genre actor.  Adam West is an option, but I think that nerds would absolutely flip for Shatner as Deadpool.  Don't have him play it ironically, play it completely seriously but you still get the weirdness of Shatner playing Deadpool.

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8. James Marsden
Cable is really Nathan Summers, the son of Scott Summers (to put it as simply as I can).  Why not get Marsden to play his own, aged son from the future?  Marsden is a really gifted comedic actor and it would give the film an opportunity for some fun lampshading.  Besides, Marsden never really got to play Cyclops, why give him Deadpool?
In the Ultimate Universe, Cable is the future version of Wolverine so you could cast Hugh Jackman.  Which Jackman in a Deadpool movie is something Clickbait will not shut up about, so they would cover that casting to death.  Could also cast Cable with a different X-Men actor in each scene: Patrick Stewart, Kelsey Grammer, Brian Cox, Oscar Isaac in Apocalypse makeup, Famke Janssen (who is hilarious if you've ever scene The Ten).  You know I was joking with that multiple casting idea, but I kind of love it now...
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7. Danny De Vito
 De Vito is in the right age range for the character but completely wrong physically.  So what you do is dress him up exactly like Cable.  Give him a muscle suit and have everyone take it seriously and never acknowledge that.  This casting has a lot of opportunities, get real weird with it.
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6. Mark Hamill
 When I saw the Kingsman I realized how much Hollywood has wasted Mark Hamill as a character actor.  He is a funny, comic book fan that has loads of genre cred.  Especially after reprising Luke Skywalker, Hamill deserves a comeback.  He would find a great take on Cable.
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5. Leslie Jones
 Leslie Jones tweets a lot about Deadpool and has expressed her desire to play Deadpool's sidekick.  They should totally consider her for Cable.  She has an imposing stature and can totally play up intimidating and tired of other people's shit.  Let Leslie write her own jokes, she is a great comedy writer.  And totally acknowledge how much the internet will bitch about her casting and don't pull any punches.

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4. Sylvester Stallone
Sly has been my dream casting in this role for years (see number 16 on this list).   Right age, right physique and the side of his face with paralysis could be the side with the technovirus.  With his role in Guardians vol. 2 this seems unlikely, but I still think this would fit.  Sly can work in parody and would fit this role to a T.
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3. Ernie Hudson
 So I had a dream where I was at a casting call for Cable with a bunch of actors that have been linked to the part.  Ernie Hudson was one of the actors I remember clearly from the dream and I think I was on to something.  Hudson can play an action star, a straight man and is good with comedy.  There is an entire career of Ernie's that we never got to see and Cable is one of those later in life discoveries the veteran really deserves.

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2. Rob Riggle
 I am not a big Rob Riggle fan, I think he tries to hard to get laughs and don't care for his casual bro attitude.  But a role where he is forced to be the straight man and play everything seriously?  You know, I can get behind that.  I think that is the right way to use Riggle and we haven't seen that.  Riggle has plenty of experience as a comedian, plus the best physique on this list for the part.

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1. Kyle Chandler
When I do fantasy castings I try to stay away from actors rumored for the role or requested by the internet.  I think that fan castings deserve more imagination and should be used to make a point of the fan doing the casting (like I rolled my eyes the five years after Returns that someone wrote how Brandon Routh should play Superman, or any time the internet says Nathan Fillion should play anything).
But Kyle Chandler, that was an actor I never would have imagined, but the more I think about it the more I can see it.  Chandler as a straight man in a comedy is a way he hasn't been used that is really perfect.  He can play no-nonsense and I think really would give Reynolds a lot to play off of.  Chandler isn't without a sense of humor, but he isn't going to try to force any jokes either.  I really want to see him as Cable and seeing his casting being one of the things that drove Tim Miller from the sequel makes me sad that we won't see it.  I think Fox had the opportunity to do something completely unexpected that would have worked great.

Fox Kids After 1996: How it Should Have Been Scheduled

There is a promo for Fox Kids from 1995 that I really love.  I was too young to be watching Fox Kids at that time, but I know all of those shows very well (except for Masked Rider).  Just a dream line-up of kids entertainment with plenty of hits to spare.  However a year later Fox Kids started to decline.  Part of that had to do with the inability to use shows from Warner Bros. Animation anymore but Fox Kids just didn't have their finger on the zeitgeist anymore.  So I started thinking, what could they have done to keep the good times rolling on Fox?  After that I went into a weeks-long rabbit hole of researching cartoon and schedules to create my own fantasy retcon schedule (did something similar about Fox Kids' successor).

The following is how I would have scheduled Fox Kids (I know they rotated shows a lot more, but just sharing a skeleton of the schedule for simplicity's sake).  I tried to be realistic in this.  Like I didn't just put SpongeBob SquarePants on the schedule, these are all shows that Fox could have made happen.

So I hope you enjoy my alternate history TV schedules (a project I am fully aware has limited appeal).
1996-1997 Season
Fox Kids still had plenty of hits, but they were running their course.  Power Rangers Zeo wasn't as popular as Mighty Morphin Power RangersCarmen Sandiego, Eek!, Batman and The Tick all entered their final seasons.  With only Beetleborgs and Casper as any new shows resembling some success.  For new shows I would have continued the relationship with Saban and launched Incredible Hulk and Samurai Pizza Cats on Fox.  The network had plenty of success with its other Marvel shows that were still running and Samurai Pizza Cats would fit the network's irreverent humor.

The big show I would add I went back and forth on, but I decided to build the schedule around it: Dragon Ball Z.  Sure it would have been edited more but Jeff Harris already argued for this alternate history years ago.  DBZ was a show that Saban had that Fox Kids should have taken a chance on.  An edgy, unique show with loads of episodes that could run for years.  Sharing a cultural origin with Power Rangers should have convinced Fox to give it a chance.

           Mondays-Thursdays                                 Fridays
6:00    Bobby's World                                          Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?
6:30    Life with Louie                                         Eek! Stravaganza

2:00     Mighty Morphin Power Rangers             Power Rangers Zeo
2:30     Big Bad Beetleborgs                               Goosebumps
3:00     Batman and Robin                                   Batman and Robin
3:30     Dragon Ball Z                                          Dragon Ball Z

7:00     Casper
7:30     Power Rangers Zeo (Turbo midseason)
8:00     Spider-Man
8:30     Incredible Hulk
9:00     X-Men
9:30     The Tick
10:00   Samurai Pizza Cats
10:30   Dragon Ball Z

1997-1998 Season
 The three new additions from last season would still be going strong.  On Saturdays I would add Extreme Ghostbusters (Fox would later air a lot of shows from Sony, Fox Family would later air Real Ghostbusters).  X-Men would continue airing favorite episodes until Silver Surfer took over in midseason (tying in with the galactic themed Power Rangers in Space).  Would strengthen the weekday lineup by repackaging Bart themed episodes of The Simpsons into a new program called The Bart Chronicles.  The Simpsons had been around for close to a decade at this point and had become an institution so it wouldn't be too controversial.  This move would keep Bart as a kid's icon and be a segue into Fox primetime for younger audiences.  The Bart Chronicles would complement the older skewing Dragon Ball Z in the afternoons.  The Bart Chronicles would in turn be complemented by reruns of Garfield and Friends, which had just finished its run on the Turner networks (Fox Kids Video released some Garfield cartoons, Fox later made the live-action movies).  The combination of Power Rangers, Garfield, Bart Simpson and DBZ would keep weekday afternoons a popular destination for action and comedy for kids and adults.

             Mondays-Thursdays                                  Fridays
6:00     Bobby's World                                            Casper
6:30     Life with Louie                                           Samurai Pizza Cats

2:00     Power Rangers Turbo                                 Power Rangers Zeo (in Space midseason)
2:30     Garfield and Friends                                Beetleborgs Metallix
3:00     The Bart Chronicles                                 The Bart Chronicles
3:30     Dragon Ball Z                                             Dragon Ball Z

7:00      Casper (Goosebumps midseason)
7:30      Power Rangers Turbo (in Space midseason)
8:00      Spider-Man
8:30      The Incredible Hulk
9:00      X-Men (Silver Surfer midseason)
9:30      Extreme Ghostbusters
10:00    Samurai Pizza Cats
10:30    Dragon Ball Z

1998-1999 Season
This would be the final season for Life with Louie and Bobby's World reruns, would keep Magic School Bus as the e/i friendly show but also pick up the recently ended CBS show Twisted Tales of Felix the Cat for Friday mornings.  With the shows airing on Fox Extreme Ghostbusters and Incredible Hulk could have survived for additional seasons (the latter show airing in a green monster power hour with Godzilla).  Would give Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog a chance but the other shows I've been omitting would go to Fox Family which premiered this season (and is honestly where Fox Kids really went wrong).

            Mondays-Thursdays                                     Fridays
6:00     Magic School Bus                                       Bobby's World
6:30     Life with Louie                                            Twisted Tales of Felix the Cat

2:00     Power Rangers in Space                              Power Rangers Turbo (Lost Galaxy midseason)
2:30     Garfield and Friends                                     Spider-Man
3:00     The Bart Chronicles                                     The Bart Chronicles
3:30     Dragon Ball Z                                               Dragon Ball Z

7:00     Mystic Knights of Tir Na Nog
7:30     Power Rangers in Space (Lost Galaxy midseason)
8:00     Godzilla
8:30     Incredible Hulk
9:00     Ultimate Goosebumps
9:30     Extreme Ghostbusters
10:00   Samurai Pizza Cats
10:30   Dragon Ball Z

1999-2000 Season
This would still be a big transition season for Fox Kids with Digimon making its premiere.   With Fox's relationship with Sony, Dragon Tales would premiere on mornings as a big, merchandisable hit.  With the success of DBZ on Fox, Dragon Ball would air a season earlier than it did on Toonami.  The three new D-shows would have bolstered the other new shows and would have put Fox on top of Kids' WB's Poke-Ratings.

            Mondays-Thursdays                                     Fridays
6:00     Magic School Bus                                         Twisted Tales of Felix the Cat
6:30     Dragon Tales                                                Dragon Tales

2:00     Power Rangers Lost Galaxy                         PR in Space (Lightspeed midseason)
2:30     Garfield and Friends (Digimon midseason)  Digimon Adventure
3:00     The Bart Chronicles                                      The Bart Chronicles
3:30     Dragon Ball Z                                                Dragon Ball Z

7:00     NASCAR Racers
7:30     Power Rangers in Lost Galaxy (Lightspeed Rescue midseason)
8:00     Godzilla
8:30     Spider-Man Unlimited (Avengers: United They Stand midseason)
9:00     Digimon Adventure
9:30     Big Guy and Rusty
10:00   Beast Machines: Transformers
10:30   Dragon Ball

Fox Kids would continue its great previous season with the premiere of X-Men: Evolution (with Fox distributing the movie this year and the entire network owing its success to X-Men: The Animated Series, how did they not have their finger on this one?).  In addition to the other new shows I would also pick up the Canadian Hoze Houndz because the network needed a better comedy than Woody Woodpecker.  Would have shared Muppet Babies with The Odyssey Network (run by former Fox Kids head, Margaret Loesch) after its run on Nickelodeon to give mornings an extra jolt.  Surprised that Fox Kids never did anything with The Muppets franchise before Disney bought them.

            Mondays-Thursdays                                     Fridays
6:00     Magic School Bus                                        Muppet Babies
6:30     Dragon Tales                                                Muppet Babies

2:00     PR Lightspeed Rescue                                  PR Lost Galaxy (Time Force midseason)
2:30     Digimon Adventure                                      Digimon Adventure 02
3:00     Bart Chronicles (Dragon Ball midseason)    Dragon Ball
3:30     Dragon Ball Z                                               Dragon Ball Z

7:00     Hoze Houndz
7:30     Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue (Time Force midseason)
8:00     Monster Rancher
8:30     X-Men: Evolution
9:00     Digimon Adventure 02
9:30     Big Guy and Rusty (Flint the Time Detective midseason)
10:00   Beast Machines: Transformers (NASCAR Racers midseason)
10:30   Dragon Ball

Totally Spies would have premiered here instead of Fox Family with Rescue Heroes running alongside Dragon Tales on mornings.

            Mondays-Thursdays                                     Fridays
6:00     Rescue Heroes                                             Hoze Houndz
6:30     Dragon Tales                                                Digimon Adventure

2:00     Power Rangers Time Force                          PR Lightspeed Rescue (Wild Force midseason)
2:30     Digimon Adventure 02                                 X-Men: Evolution
3:00     Dragon Ball                                                  Medabots
3:30     Dragon Ball Z                                               Dragon Ball Z

7:00     Totally Spies
7:30     Power Rangers Time Force (Wild Force midseason)
8:00     Los Luchadores (Galidor midseason)
8:30     X-Men: Evolution
9:00     Digimon Tamers
9:30     Flint the Time Detective (Mon Colle Knights midseason)
10:00   Medabots
10:30   Transformers: Robots in Disguise

This would be the last hurrah for mornings with affiliates ending any morning cartoons, but afternoon would continue to be strong with old favorites and 4Kids' Kirby, Right Back at Ya! and Ultimate Muscle airing as Friday exclusives.  Saturdays would stand against the competition with premieres of Beyblade, Transformers Armada and Dragon Ball GT (the first two were shows Fox would have had if it continued).  Midseason would be powered by ninjitsu with the premieres of Power Rangers Ninja Storm and the much anticipated relaunch of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

            Mondays-Thursdays                                     Fridays
6:00     Rescue Heroes                                             Rescue Heroes
6:30     Dragon Tales                                                Dragon Tales

2:00     Power Rangers Wild Force                           PR Time Force (Ninja Storm midseason)
2:30     Galidor                                                          Kirby, Right Back at Ya!
3:00     Digimon Tamers                                           Ultimate Muscle
3:30     Dragon Ball Z                                               Dragon Ball Z (Medabots midseason)

7:00     Totally Spies
7:30     Power Rangers Wild Force (Ninja Storm midseason)
8:00     Beyblade
8:30     X-Men: Evolution
9:00     Digimon Frontier
9:30     Dragon Ball GT
10:00   Medabots (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles midseason)
10:30  Transformers Armada

The final season I am going to do for this post, but in all honesty Fox Kids really could have lasted until at least 2009 with better decisions.  The network would have done well to create their own original content or adapt popular kids properties (Captain Underpants, Mario, continued pushing the Marvel craze that cinemas were craving).  This season would premiere Sonic X and Daigunder but Fox had enough hits with X-Men: Evolution, Digimon, Dragon Ball and Medabots dying down and Ninja Turtles, Totally Spies and Beyblade hitting up to keep going for a long time.

            Mondays-Thursdays                                     Fridays
2:00     Power Rangers Ninja Storm                         PR Wild Force (DinoThunder midseason)
2:30     X-Men: Evolution                                         Kirby, Right Back at Ya!
3:00     Digimon Frontier                                          Ultimate Muscle (Totally Spies midseason)
3:30     Dragon Ball GT                                             Medabots

7:00     Totally Spies
7:30     Power Rangers Ninja Storm (DinoThunder midseason)
8:00     Beyblade VForce
8:30     X-Men: Evolution
9:00     Sonic X
9:30     Daigunder
10:00   Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
10:30  Trasnformers Armada (Ultimate Muscle midseason)

So what do you think?  Agree?  Disagree?  Please share.  I had a lot fun doing this and I know that if this was a true alternate history about saving Fox Kids I would also have to do an alternate history of Fox Family...